The Leash

A mother's mind really is almost always on her children. It's amazing how in those brief moments of peace we reflect on things that happened as recently as an hour ago or as far back as the day we learned we were pregnant. I was reflecting in such a way just earlier as I sat in the shower. Yes, I said sat. Those lovely gremlins have once again so lovingly shared their germs with me and whatever I have caught is exhausting! So I was quite literally sitting in the shower with hot water pouring on me. It was lovely and the perfect spot for thinking. 

Who knows why precisely our minds go to certain points in our lives. I was thinking of an upcoming appointment where I would need to drag all three children with me in the near future, and remembering something a nurse had said. In that particular instance, I had been wearing my youngest in my Infantino Sash and leading my then eighteen month old in to the exam room. She was admiring my baby carrier and remarked "that is a much better idea than putting your child on a leash!" I just smiled as I sat down in a chair, but I had a dirty little secret--I had once tried a leash on my oldest. 

Once upon a time, when the oldest--now four--was about 18 months herself, I bought a harness for a toddler. She was so sneaky that she would wait until I felt secure and my hand wasn't quite as tightly around hers as required to keep her with me, then she would wrench her hand away and run! She thought it was a very fun game until she got caught. I, meanwhile, endured the looks of people who probably thought that I couldn't handle my child and needed to keep closer watch over her. I became pregnant with my second and then the running was not as easy. I had to find a solution. With some encouragement, I went to Target and bought a cute little harness that looked like a monkey. How perfect, I thought. Her favorite stuffed animal was--and still is--a monkey. This might not be so bad. 

We brought it home and I showed her the new harness. Wasn't the monkey cute? She thought so. Mommy carried a backpack sometimes, wouldn't she like one too? Yes! And in my head, since her car seat had a harness that buckled, this might not be so bad!

I decided on a trial run. I put her arms in the straps, and she at first just watched curiously. The moment the chest buckle snapped, however, it was as if my toddler was transformed in to a savage beast! She bucked and screamed! She rolled on the floor and tried to pull it off. Attempts to get her to calm down were in vain, as she was so loud that she couldn't even hear me. And then she just lay on the floor crying for a time. It was quite like trying to walk a cat. 

I took the harness off and have never been able to get her to even put her arms in the straps again.  Anytime I approached her with it she would scream and run off. Somehow, the trend of her trying to escape ended not long after. Maybe I became better at engaging her interest in a store. Perhaps she realized that mommy's hand was much better than a harness that looked like a monkey. Maybe she understood that mommy was getting too large and uncomfortable to give chase in a Walmart. Whatever the reason, I'm glad that I didn't have to endure the judgmental stares for too much longer. Now I just receive looks of shock or pity, or comments about having three children under 5, but that's a topic for another time. 

To the Gym!

I used to totally advocate working out at home. It's convenient and cost effective, you do it whenever you want without having to drive anywhere, and no one else has to see you sweat and jump around like a crazy person. I easily exercised at home with my first, and then again right after my second.

However, Baby #3 has changed a lot of things. For instance, I do not get more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep most nights.. I can no longer sit down and eat a meal without someone on my lap eating as well (be it her or the second child). The third one caused my hips to pop out of the location that they are supposed to be in and make things uncomfortable. And most importantly, neither of the two children that nap are ever napping at the same time. I don't know how I got the first two on the same schedule so easily and I cannot get the third child to stick to that same schedule, but I fear I may have met someone who is almost as stubborn as I am. I said almost. I still will win. So put in to the fact that I have had no sleep, I am always wrestling at least one kid, and by the time they are all in bed I am exhausted, working out at home was becoming less of a reality. A 30 minute workout was doable some days, but with the hip and eventually back pain I was having, my programs were really too intense to keep up with. A lovely walk around the neighborhood sounded like a great idea, until I realized the reality of getting all 3 kids dressed (and get them to keep their clothes on for longer than 10 minutes), putting one in the stroller, wearing the youngest, and convincing the oldest that really, you aren't tired. Keep going! We have barely gone a quarter of a mile!

I finally bit the bullet and joined a gym. I checked them out last week and then yesterday, after the Physical Therapist said walking and yoga were great exercises I could do, I bought a membership for nine months. I totally bought 9 months up front. Why? Because I am CHEAP and if I spent money somewhere like that, I sure as tootin' am going to use it. And then by September I am going to be so addicted to going to the gym it won't be a problem to keep going. And with free childcare for an hour or more, it was almost impossible to resist. So I went in today. I was carrying an eight month old in her carseat in one hand, an almost-2 year old in the other, and had the 4 year old hold on to my shirt in the back. We looked like some freaky carnival ride I am sure. I toted all of my children to that blessed child care room and signed them in, giving the workers the heads up that there is an epi pen in the middle kid's bag, should he need it (God I hope not! They have a no food rule). And then, suddenly, I was free.

I was kind of expecting a beam of light to break through in to the gym with a chorus of angel voices. Instead, I heard the steady hum  of machines and saw mirrors. So. Many. Mirrors. I had noticed them before, but now they were rather intimidating. They were EVERYWHERE. The walls were mirrors. As someone who doesn't really study herself in the mirror and just tries to avoid looking at her completely ruined middle section in general, it was scary. I tried to avoid looking as much as possible and found a treadmill in the very middle of all of the machines.

It took me way too long to remember how a treadmill worked. Why must they all be different? I put on the emergency clip, that I noticed several people were neglecting to use, and started pushing buttons. I figured "Go" might be a good place to start, and low and behold it started moving. And then I remembered I had brought my iPod, so I shut it back off, put my iPod on, and spent a good five minutes trying to remember what my exercise play list was called. It's called "5K," for the record. That means my play list is from Summer 2013, when I ran a 5k. I need an update. I finally got all adjusted and turned on the treadmill again. I got it up to a nice speed and started walking. Ahhhhh. Walking. Without anyone screaming at me that their shoe fell off. Or asking to go home and drink water. To say it was nice was an understatement. How can something so simple as walking on a treadmill in a gym be so wonderful??

Now while walking and not fighting children, I did have a lot of time to observe. And here is what I noticed:

Some ladies wear make up to the gym. I didn't even think of makeup this morning.

Straight haired people have it easy. My hair band fell out of my hair exactly five times before I gave up and put it in my jacket pocket. The curly frizziness could not be contained. Many of the women there were working out and their hair stayed in place. Lucky.

Gyms are hot. Being filled with sweaty people, this really isn't a surprise. But what was a surprise was this button that said "Fan" on my treadmill. IT BLEW COOL AIR!! Did you know that treadmills did this now? I had no idea! The ones I have used in the past just went forward and at an incline!

Running when your Physical Therapist said walk is not a good idea. She said walk for a reason. Don't tell on me, please. I'm sure she'll figure it out tomorrow anyway.

The elliptical will go when you start moving. They don't automatically turn on. I learned this after pushing multiple buttons and going to get a staff member to help me "turn it on." I had even gone to multiple machines thinking that something was wrong with the first one. Maybe the second one, too. I really hope no one noticed. I bet they did.

Weights can be mysteriously missing. I did not see a single person using a 10 pound weight, nor did I see one anywhere else in the area. And yet all but one single solitaire 10 pound free weight was gone.

Using one weight at a time makes me feel off-balanced. This is probably more of a mental thing.

Trainers can take pictures of you exercising. I do not need this service, thank you. In fact, very rarely am I going to take a "gym selfie." No one wants to see my messed up hair, with no makeup, all sweaty. Even I don't want to see me like that. Yikes!

An hour goes very quickly. Right at 55 minutes I went to go get my children ready to go. Since #3 is under a year, they will only keep her for an hour at a time. Still, an hour of exercise is better than none! I will definitely be returning to the gym. And not only because I paid for it, but because it was me time. Every mom needs some "me" time.