Who knows why precisely our minds go to certain points in our lives. I was thinking of an upcoming appointment where I would need to drag all three children with me in the near future, and remembering something a nurse had said. In that particular instance, I had been wearing my youngest in my Infantino Sash and leading my then eighteen month old in to the exam room. She was admiring my baby carrier and remarked "that is a much better idea than putting your child on a leash!" I just smiled as I sat down in a chair, but I had a dirty little secret--I had once tried a leash on my oldest.
Once upon a time, when the oldest--now four--was about 18 months herself, I bought a harness for a toddler. She was so sneaky that she would wait until I felt secure and my hand wasn't quite as tightly around hers as required to keep her with me, then she would wrench her hand away and run! She thought it was a very fun game until she got caught. I, meanwhile, endured the looks of people who probably thought that I couldn't handle my child and needed to keep closer watch over her. I became pregnant with my second and then the running was not as easy. I had to find a solution. With some encouragement, I went to Target and bought a cute little harness that looked like a monkey. How perfect, I thought. Her favorite stuffed animal was--and still is--a monkey. This might not be so bad.
We brought it home and I showed her the new harness. Wasn't the monkey cute? She thought so. Mommy carried a backpack sometimes, wouldn't she like one too? Yes! And in my head, since her car seat had a harness that buckled, this might not be so bad!
I decided on a trial run. I put her arms in the straps, and she at first just watched curiously. The moment the chest buckle snapped, however, it was as if my toddler was transformed in to a savage beast! She bucked and screamed! She rolled on the floor and tried to pull it off. Attempts to get her to calm down were in vain, as she was so loud that she couldn't even hear me. And then she just lay on the floor crying for a time. It was quite like trying to walk a cat.
I took the harness off and have never been able to get her to even put her arms in the straps again. Anytime I approached her with it she would scream and run off. Somehow, the trend of her trying to escape ended not long after. Maybe I became better at engaging her interest in a store. Perhaps she realized that mommy's hand was much better than a harness that looked like a monkey. Maybe she understood that mommy was getting too large and uncomfortable to give chase in a Walmart. Whatever the reason, I'm glad that I didn't have to endure the judgmental stares for too much longer. Now I just receive looks of shock or pity, or comments about having three children under 5, but that's a topic for another time.
